Lavish bouquets, brunch, mimosas, jewellery, mushy cards, and dinner at your favorite restaurant.... all this and more are the hallmarks of Mother’s Day. A single day in the year when we honor the selflessness and sacrifice of our own mothers and as our role as moms. Commercials capitalize on the pride and power of the mothering connection. Advertisers like Dove and Proctor and Gamble know exactly how to tug on our heartstrings, and open our wallets. We are sold the story of mothers’ endless love and nurturing – after all, that’s what women do, right?
But as with most holidays that are promoted and celebrated as nothing but roses and a warm glow, there is a sad, difficult side to mother’s day for many women that’s not covered in the magazines or on Pinterest.
Some people, who have been blessed with mothers who were warm and nurturing lost them this year – or many years ago – to death or incapacitation. This holiday will carry a bittersweet sting for them as they long for their mother’s gentle touch and close connection. One more tight squeeze, one more encouraging phrase.
Some people never got to experience that type of mother. Rather, their mothers’ touches made them flinch fearfully. Or perhaps their mother was wrapped in a cloak of addiction that made her unpredictable and inaccessible.
Some women hoped and prayed and wished that this year would be the year that they would finally become a mom, cradling a baby of their very own. And some mothers have lost babies and won’t experience those sticky sweet hugs and beautifully imperfect cards. For those mom’s, it’s a day of grief and mourning.
Some women choose to never become mothers and are judged and scorned for their choices.
Please remember, if, for you, this is not the straightforward kumbaya holiday that hallmark would have us believe, YOUR ARE NOT ALONE. You need to understand this with every fibre of your being:
Your mom’s treatment of you has NOTHING to do with your worth. You are worthy of love.
Your route to becoming a mother has nothing to do with your worth. You are worthy of love.
Your decision NOT to become a mother has nothing to do with your worth. You are worthy of love.
How your family chooses to celebrate you has nothing to do with your worth. You are worthy of love.
My Mother’s Day wish for you is that you will embrace the conviction that you are worthy and you are worthy of love. Seek out role models who nurture and inspire you. Say thank you for their encouragement and let them know what they mean to you. Take matters into your own hands and lavish upon yourself the love and nurturing that you may not have received.
Let this be your gift to yourself this Mother’s Day. I salute you.