The Honest Truth: I’m a hypocrite.
There, it’s out. I’ve said it and now you have the truth (cue to red hot flush of embarrassment).
This is a very bitter pill for me to swallow, but in the name of transparency and vulnerability I am going to be open with you about why you should do as I say, not as I do. Recently I was watching a video by the brilliant Marie Forleo and she said,
“We can have it all, we just can’t do it all”. She then linked it back to her own blue collar family background and I felt the emotional equivalent of being hit on the head with my cast iron frying pan. It wasn’t a light bulb moment so much as an earthquake moment.
Over the past few years, my practice has grown exponentially. I love what I do and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get over the feeling of being so fortunate to have such an exciting, fulfilling career. My clients feel the love, my referral sources know I provide top-notch service and as a result I’ve become super busy without any marketing. However, as my practice has grown, my list of household tasks and responsibilities has also grown. My three kids are all still in elementary school and need me as much as ever. The help I enlist has not grown as quickly as the help I offer. In fact, I haven’t hired on ANY help, herein lays the hurdle.
I do believe I’m the first Ormson woman right back to the club and conquer days of Orm the Viking who has had “help” from her husband with laundry, meals, diapers, childcare, and cleaning. My mother and my grandmother and my GREAT grandmother(s) Did It All. Childcare. Clean sheets. Freshly scrubbed everything. Home cooked meals. Gardening. Canning. Homemade jam. Community involvement. My Great Gram Ormson did it all with seven kids no less!
However, we need to remind ourselves that times are different now. Homes are larger. Kids are involved in more activities. Extended family is not as geographically close. We have added so much to our plates, without changing expectations at all. I need to remind myself that I’m also the first woman in my family to be self employed, running a successful business while still attempting to clean my house, keep my kids in fresh laundry, ready the bedtime stories, juggle homework, get them to karate, register for camps and not burn the homemade cookies. Some days it feels like the jugglers of Cirque de Soleil have nothin’ on my schedule. I know I’m not the only woman facing this – there are millions of us trying to DO It All and feeling like we’re failing at every turn.
Maybe asking for help or hiring help is not akin to raising the white flag of defeat and saying “I’m a failure because I can’t do it all”. Maybe it’s really more like saying, “there are only so many hours in a day and I would really like to enjoy my family AND my career rather than grinding myself into the ground.” Perhaps it’s time to ask for some help.
Stay tuned, I’ll let you know how it goes.